FORGIVING IS NOT ONLY FORGETTING (PHEOMENOLOGICAL STUDY ON FORGIVENESS IN INDIVIDUAL WHO EXPERIENCES A FRIENDSHIP CONFLICT)

Zulmi Ramdani

doi:10.18769/ijasos.366853

Research Article

Year 2017, , 829 - 839, 27.12.2017

Zulmi Ramdani

https://doi.org/10.18769/ijasos.366853

Abstract

References

Adams, C., & Manen, M. A. Van. (2017). Teaching Phenomenological Research and Writing. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732317698960 Bartholomaeus, J., & Strelan, P. (2016). Just world beliefs and forgiveness : The mediating role of implicit theories of relationships. PAID, 96, 106–110. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.02.081 Boyle, G. J., Saklofske, D., & Matthewes, G. (2015). Measures of Personality and Social Psychological Constructs. Oxford: Academic Press. Braithwaite, S. R., Mitchell, C. M., Selby, E. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2016). Trait forgiveness and enduring vulnerabilities : Neuroticism and catastrophizing in fl uence relationship satisfaction via less forgiveness. PAID, 94, 237–246. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2015.12.045 Costa, S. P., & Neves, P. (2017). Forgiving is good for health and performance : How forgiveness helps individuals cope with the psychological contract breach. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 100, 124–136. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2017.03.005 Costa, S. P., Neves, P., & Neves, P. (2017). PT SC. Journal of Vocational Behavior. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2017.03.005 Fatfouta, R., Gerlach, T. M., Schröder-abé, M., & Merkl, A. (2015). Narcissism and lack of interpersonal forgiveness : The mediating role of state anger , state rumination , and state empathy q, 75, 36–40. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.10.051 Fatfouta, R., & Schröder-abé, M. (2017). I can see clearly now : Clarity of transgression-related motivations enhances narcissists â€TM lack of forgiveness. PAID, 105, 280–286. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.10.010 Fayyaz, F., & Ali, M. (2011). Social and Comparison of forgiveness in clinical depressed , non-clinical depressed and normal people. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2011.10.018 Finlay, L. (2012). Unfolding the Phenomenological Research Process : Iterative Stages of “ Seeing Afresh .” https://doi.org/10.1177/0022167812453877 Flanagan, K. S., Vanden, K. K., Ranter, J. M., & Reich, H. A. (2012). The potential of forgiveness as a response for coping with negative peer experiences. Journal of Adolescence, 35(5), 1215–1223. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2012.04.004 Furman, C. R., Luo, S., & Jr, R. S. P. (2017). A perfect blame : Con fl ict-promoting attributions mediate the association between perfectionism and forgiveness in romantic relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 178–186. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.052 Gilligan, E. (1997). The development of forgiveness in the context of, 393–402. Groenewald, T. (2004a). A Phenomenological Research Design Illustrated, 3(1), 1–26. Groenewald, T. (2004b). A Phenomenological Research Design Illustrated, 42–55. Hamer, K., & Penczek, M. (2017). “ Humanum ignoscere est ”. The relationship of national and supranational identi fi cations with intergroup forgiveness, 105, 257–263. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.09.058 Hewitt, J. (2007). Ethical Components of Researcher – Researched Relationships in Qualitative Interviewing, 1149–1159. Hilbig, B. E., Thielmann, I., Klein, S. A., & Henninger, F. (2016). The two faces of cooperation : On the unique role of HEXACO Agreeableness for forgiveness versus retaliation. Journal of Research in Personality, 64, 69–78. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2016.08.004 Holroyd, C. (2001). Phenomenological Research Method , Design and Procedure : A Phenomenological Investigation of the Phenomenon of Being-in-Community as Experienced by Two Individuals Who Have Participated in a Community Building Workshop, 1(April), 1–10. Hood, R. (2016). Combining phenomenological and critical methodologies in qualitative research. https://doi.org/10.1177/1473325015586248 Internet, I. (2017). Computers in Human Behavior Psychological maltreatment , forgiveness , mindfulness , and internet addiction among young adults : A study of mediation effect, 72. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2017.02.037 Kato, T. (2016). Effects of partner forgiveness on romantic break-ups in dating relationships : A longitudinal study. PAID, 95, 185–189. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.02.050 Krause, N. (2015). Advances in Life Course Research Assessing the relationships among race , religion , humility , and self-forgiveness : A longitudinal investigation. Advances in Life Course Research, 24, 66–74. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.alcr.2015.02.003 Kwok, S. Y. C. L., Gu, M., & Cheung, A. P. S. (2017). Child Abuse & Neglect A longitudinal study of the role of children ’ s altruism and forgiveness in the relation between parental aggressive discipline and anxiety of preschoolers in China. Child Abuse & Neglect, 65, 236–247. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2017.02.004 Linley, P. A., & Joseph, S. (2004). Positive Psychology in Practice. New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons. Maltby, J., Wood, A. M., Day, L., Kon, T. W. H., Colley, A., & Linley, P. A. (2008). Personality predictors of levels of forgiveness two and a half years after the transgression, 42, 1088–1094. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2007.12.008 Nudelman, G., & Nadler, A. (2017). The effect of apology on forgiveness : Belief in a just world as a moderator, Personality and Individual Differences, 116, 191–200. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.04.048 Orbon, M., Mercado, J., & Balila, J. (2015). Effects of forgiveness therapy on recovery among residents of drug rehabilitation centers. Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences, 165, 12–20. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2014.12.599 Park, J., Enright, R. D., Essex, M. J., Zahn-waxler, C., & Klatt, J. S. (2013). Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology Forgiveness intervention for female South Korean adolescent aggressive victims. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 34(6), 268–276. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2013.06.001 Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. Londong-England: Oxford Univerisity Press. Rey, L., & Extremera, N. (2014). Positive psychological characteristics and interpersonal forgiveness : Identifying the unique contribution of emotional intelligence abilities , Big Five traits , gratitude and optimism. Personality and Individual Differences, 68, 199–204. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.04.030 Riek, B. M., Luna, L. M. R., & Schnabelrauch, C. A. (2014). Transgressors ’ guilt and shame : A longitudinal examination of forgiveness seeking, 31(6), 751–772. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407513503595 Rizvi, S., & Bobocel, D. R. (2016). Promoting Forgiveness Through Psychological Distance, 7(8), 875–883. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550616662122 Santos, M. J. D., Adolescent, T. H. E., & Forgiver, A. S. (1989). The adolescent as forgiver. Steiner, M., Allemand, M., & Mccullough, M. E. (2011). Age differences in forgivingness : The role of transgression frequency and intensity. Journal of Research in Personality, 45(6), 670–678. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2011.09.004 Strelan, P., Feather, N. T., & Mckee, I. (2008). Journal of Experimental Social Psychology Justice and forgiveness : Experimental evidence for compatibility, 44, 1538–1544. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.07.014 Tongeren, D. R. Van, Green, J. D., Hook, J. N., Davis, D. E., Davis, J. L., & Ramos, M. (2015). Forgiveness Increases Meaning in Life, 6(1), 47–55. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550614541298 Wilson, T., Milosevic, A., Hart, K., & Hibbard, S. (2008). Physical Health Status in Relation to Self-forgiveness and Other-forgiveness in Healthy College Students. https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105308093863 Woodard, F. J. (2004). HYPNOTIC EXPERIENCING ’, (1966), 887–904. Woodyatt, L., & Wenzel, M. (2013). Journal of Experimental Social Psychology The psychological immune response in the face of transgressions : Pseudo self-forgiveness and threat to belonging. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 49(6), 951–958. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2013.05.016 Younger, J. W., Piferi, R. L., Jobe, R. L., & Lawler, K. A. (2004). Dimensions of forgiveness : The views of laypersons, 21(6), 837–855. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407504047843

FORGIVING IS NOT ONLY FORGETTING (PHEOMENOLOGICAL STUDY ON FORGIVENESS IN INDIVIDUAL WHO EXPERIENCES A FRIENDSHIP CONFLICT)

Year 2017, , 829 - 839, 27.12.2017

Zulmi Ramdani

https://doi.org/10.18769/ijasos.366853

Abstract

The friendship conflicts are associated with the
emergence of hostile feelings between people who feel victimized by another person.
This kind of conflict will damage the moral and relationship between them. One
thing that can be done by humans to solve this problem is by forgiving. Forgiveness is not an
easy thing to do, considering that the offended individual may have different
reactions. This concept of forgiveness will be not only concerning on what
happens in the heart, but also having a willingness to restart usual
interaction and behavior. This study used a phenomenological approach which was
aimed to identify the meaning and the process of forgiving. The result of
investigating 3 subjects carried out three important things that must exist in
the process of forgiving, i.e. basic personal values, understanding of
offenders, and positive efforts. Basic personal values will be individual
characteristics in solving conflicts regarding on the values of kindness, love,
and humanity. Understanding of offender will increase our empathy toward the
feelings of others. Meanwhile, the positive effort will be our main step that
forgiving is not only saying sorry, but also having sincerity in the heart
which is then shown with a willingness to reinitiate and interact with the
person.

Keywords

forgiving, friendship conflict, phenomenology

References

Adams, C., & Manen, M. A. Van. (2017). Teaching Phenomenological Research and Writing. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732317698960 Bartholomaeus, J., & Strelan, P. (2016). Just world beliefs and forgiveness : The mediating role of implicit theories of relationships. PAID, 96, 106–110. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.02.081 Boyle, G. J., Saklofske, D., & Matthewes, G. (2015). Measures of Personality and Social Psychological Constructs. Oxford: Academic Press. Braithwaite, S. R., Mitchell, C. M., Selby, E. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2016). Trait forgiveness and enduring vulnerabilities : Neuroticism and catastrophizing in fl uence relationship satisfaction via less forgiveness. PAID, 94, 237–246. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2015.12.045 Costa, S. P., & Neves, P. (2017). Forgiving is good for health and performance : How forgiveness helps individuals cope with the psychological contract breach. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 100, 124–136. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2017.03.005 Costa, S. P., Neves, P., & Neves, P. (2017). PT SC. Journal of Vocational Behavior. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2017.03.005 Fatfouta, R., Gerlach, T. M., Schröder-abé, M., & Merkl, A. (2015). Narcissism and lack of interpersonal forgiveness : The mediating role of state anger , state rumination , and state empathy q, 75, 36–40. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.10.051 Fatfouta, R., & Schröder-abé, M. (2017). I can see clearly now : Clarity of transgression-related motivations enhances narcissists â€TM lack of forgiveness. PAID, 105, 280–286. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.10.010 Fayyaz, F., & Ali, M. (2011). Social and Comparison of forgiveness in clinical depressed , non-clinical depressed and normal people. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2011.10.018 Finlay, L. (2012). Unfolding the Phenomenological Research Process : Iterative Stages of “ Seeing Afresh .” https://doi.org/10.1177/0022167812453877 Flanagan, K. S., Vanden, K. K., Ranter, J. M., & Reich, H. A. (2012). The potential of forgiveness as a response for coping with negative peer experiences. Journal of Adolescence, 35(5), 1215–1223. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2012.04.004 Furman, C. R., Luo, S., & Jr, R. S. P. (2017). A perfect blame : Con fl ict-promoting attributions mediate the association between perfectionism and forgiveness in romantic relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 178–186. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.052 Gilligan, E. (1997). The development of forgiveness in the context of, 393–402. Groenewald, T. (2004a). A Phenomenological Research Design Illustrated, 3(1), 1–26. Groenewald, T. (2004b). A Phenomenological Research Design Illustrated, 42–55. Hamer, K., & Penczek, M. (2017). “ Humanum ignoscere est ”. The relationship of national and supranational identi fi cations with intergroup forgiveness, 105, 257–263. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.09.058 Hewitt, J. (2007). Ethical Components of Researcher – Researched Relationships in Qualitative Interviewing, 1149–1159. Hilbig, B. E., Thielmann, I., Klein, S. A., & Henninger, F. (2016). The two faces of cooperation : On the unique role of HEXACO Agreeableness for forgiveness versus retaliation. Journal of Research in Personality, 64, 69–78. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2016.08.004 Holroyd, C. (2001). Phenomenological Research Method , Design and Procedure : A Phenomenological Investigation of the Phenomenon of Being-in-Community as Experienced by Two Individuals Who Have Participated in a Community Building Workshop, 1(April), 1–10. Hood, R. (2016). Combining phenomenological and critical methodologies in qualitative research. https://doi.org/10.1177/1473325015586248 Internet, I. (2017). Computers in Human Behavior Psychological maltreatment , forgiveness , mindfulness , and internet addiction among young adults : A study of mediation effect, 72. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2017.02.037 Kato, T. (2016). Effects of partner forgiveness on romantic break-ups in dating relationships : A longitudinal study. PAID, 95, 185–189. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.02.050 Krause, N. (2015). Advances in Life Course Research Assessing the relationships among race , religion , humility , and self-forgiveness : A longitudinal investigation. Advances in Life Course Research, 24, 66–74. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.alcr.2015.02.003 Kwok, S. Y. C. L., Gu, M., & Cheung, A. P. S. (2017). Child Abuse & Neglect A longitudinal study of the role of children ’ s altruism and forgiveness in the relation between parental aggressive discipline and anxiety of preschoolers in China. Child Abuse & Neglect, 65, 236–247. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2017.02.004 Linley, P. A., & Joseph, S. (2004). Positive Psychology in Practice. New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons. Maltby, J., Wood, A. M., Day, L., Kon, T. W. H., Colley, A., & Linley, P. A. (2008). Personality predictors of levels of forgiveness two and a half years after the transgression, 42, 1088–1094. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2007.12.008 Nudelman, G., & Nadler, A. (2017). The effect of apology on forgiveness : Belief in a just world as a moderator, Personality and Individual Differences, 116, 191–200. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.04.048 Orbon, M., Mercado, J., & Balila, J. (2015). Effects of forgiveness therapy on recovery among residents of drug rehabilitation centers. Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences, 165, 12–20. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2014.12.599 Park, J., Enright, R. D., Essex, M. J., Zahn-waxler, C., & Klatt, J. S. (2013). Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology Forgiveness intervention for female South Korean adolescent aggressive victims. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 34(6), 268–276. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2013.06.001 Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. Londong-England: Oxford Univerisity Press. Rey, L., & Extremera, N. (2014). Positive psychological characteristics and interpersonal forgiveness : Identifying the unique contribution of emotional intelligence abilities , Big Five traits , gratitude and optimism. Personality and Individual Differences, 68, 199–204. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.04.030 Riek, B. M., Luna, L. M. R., & Schnabelrauch, C. A. (2014). Transgressors ’ guilt and shame : A longitudinal examination of forgiveness seeking, 31(6), 751–772. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407513503595 Rizvi, S., & Bobocel, D. R. (2016). Promoting Forgiveness Through Psychological Distance, 7(8), 875–883. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550616662122 Santos, M. J. D., Adolescent, T. H. E., & Forgiver, A. S. (1989). The adolescent as forgiver. Steiner, M., Allemand, M., & Mccullough, M. E. (2011). Age differences in forgivingness : The role of transgression frequency and intensity. Journal of Research in Personality, 45(6), 670–678. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2011.09.004 Strelan, P., Feather, N. T., & Mckee, I. (2008). Journal of Experimental Social Psychology Justice and forgiveness : Experimental evidence for compatibility, 44, 1538–1544. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.07.014 Tongeren, D. R. Van, Green, J. D., Hook, J. N., Davis, D. E., Davis, J. L., & Ramos, M. (2015). Forgiveness Increases Meaning in Life, 6(1), 47–55. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550614541298 Wilson, T., Milosevic, A., Hart, K., & Hibbard, S. (2008). Physical Health Status in Relation to Self-forgiveness and Other-forgiveness in Healthy College Students. https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105308093863 Woodard, F. J. (2004). HYPNOTIC EXPERIENCING ’, (1966), 887–904. Woodyatt, L., & Wenzel, M. (2013). Journal of Experimental Social Psychology The psychological immune response in the face of transgressions : Pseudo self-forgiveness and threat to belonging. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 49(6), 951–958. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2013.05.016 Younger, J. W., Piferi, R. L., Jobe, R. L., & Lawler, K. A. (2004). Dimensions of forgiveness : The views of laypersons, 21(6), 837–855. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407504047843

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Details

Journal Section	Articles
Authors	Zulmi Ramdani
Publication Date	December 27, 2017
Submission Date	September 1, 2017
Published in Issue	Year 2017

Cite

EndNote	Ramdani Z (December 1, 2017) FORGIVING IS NOT ONLY FORGETTING (PHEOMENOLOGICAL STUDY ON FORGIVENESS IN INDIVIDUAL WHO EXPERIENCES A FRIENDSHIP CONFLICT). IJASOS- International E-journal of Advances in Social Sciences 3 9 829–839.